Light Shines in the Darkness
In the beginning was the Word,
and the Word was with God,
and the Word was God.
He was in the beginning with God.
All things came to be through him,
and without him nothing came to be.
What came to be through him was life,
and this life was the light of the human race;The light shines in the darkness,
and the darkness has not overcome it.-Gospel of John, chapter 1, vs. 1-5
Since March 17th, when San Mateo County’s “Shelter-in-Place” order went into effect, our monastery has become quieter than usual. We used to be surrounded by sounds of suburbia - kids playing, the Nativity school bell ringing across the street, the white noise of traffic passing by, the buzzing of power tools from the neighbors’ gardening and home improvement projects and most recently, road construction. But now, few sounds of suburbia are drifting over the walls. To comply with the directives we’ve been given and to protect our visitors, our chapel is closed, so there are also no sounds of people coming, going, praying with us and we acutely feel the emptiness. Yet there is also a much greater intensity about our life. The fear, anger, and suffering of those affected by the coronavirus pandemic pierces our hearts with compassion. If we seem more silent and have fewer our posts, it is not because we have nothing to share, but rather because our first priority is to respond to this time in fidelity to our vocation - gathering hurting souls all the more closely to our hearts and bringing them before God with our increased prayers and sacrifices.
But all is not darkness - evil does not have the last word. Today, we celebrate the Annunciation of our Lord Jesus Christ - the Word becomes flesh! Today the Archangel Gabriel appeared to Mary, a humble, poor Jewish girl, and told her she was to be the mother of the long-awaited Messiah - God-with-Us! We have tremendous reason to hope and there is evidence of this reason for hope springing forth all around us - people volunteering to serve those most in need during this time, priests and religious using innovative ways to reach out and minister to the faithful, families and communities coming together and taking advantage of opportunities for renewal. God is certainly still with us and we rejoice at all these beautiful signs of life amidst the darkness.
Yet as we enter into the second week of “shelter-in-place”, there are also very practical human issues that people sheltering at home are facing or will face: boredom, increased emotional responses, and more. This is not new - every woman who enters the cloister has to navigate through the waters of transitioning from a life of free movement, activity, noise and distraction in the world to one lived in a smaller physical environment with the same group of women. So how do we help one another stay healthy and thrive, whether in a cloister or sheltering at home? Here are some common challenges we face and ways to look at them as opportunities for growth.
First Challenge: Admitting we are not in control. Many young women entering our cloister are capable, independent women used to charting their own course in big and small ways. But eventually in life, something happens - we get married or enter religious life, we encounter a life-changing event or a crisis - and we are faced with the reality that, ultimately, we are not, and never really were, in control.
Opportunity: Make an act of surrender to God and grow in trust of Him. To do this, we need to personally encounter God again and again and let Him love us. Then ask Him to direct our steps. It takes great humility to admit we are not in control, yet there is also tremendous freedom when we do acknowledge that truth and surrender to God with trust. Trusting prayer is foundational to everything else in our day. Each morning and each night, make a simple act of surrender: “Jesus, I trust in You.” Then listen for Him, for He invites each of us: “Rest in Me and in My love for you. Be still and know that I am God.”
Second Challenge: Losing the security of the “usual.” Even the most spontaneous people have some routine for parts of their day - it’s human. And for most people, life revolves around school, work, social activities and so on. In fact, we are often exhausted with all that we have crammed into our schedules as “must do’s”. With most, if not all, of that gone or drastically altered during this time, it can be hard to gain a foothold and we can start spinning our wheels, wasting time and energy.
Opportunity: Rediscover what’s really important in life and create a daily plan (and the physical space) that reflects those priorities. Our time and our energy are our two most precious commodities in life - gifts from God - and it is important that we invest them well. In the monastery, the day is generally broken into one and two-hour blocks of time, which are dedicated to specific activities, all of which are directed to supporting our vocation as cloistered nuns: prayer, work, meals, recreation, study, and so on. When a period ends, then the activity of that period stops. For example, when a sister is to be in the chapel for her holy hour, she sets aside her work until the next work period. When the sisters are called to prayer at the end of recreation, socializing ceases and we move into our time before God. Of course, the daily plan of a cloistered nun will be different from that of a mother of three or a young professional because our vocations are different. And even within vocations, specific circumstances will affect the daily plans of individuals. Nonetheless, when we put a time limit on an activity, it’s amazing what we can get done in that time; we also realize many of the things that were on our “must do” list can actually get done in a simpler way or can be deferred, delegated, or scratched off the list completely.
In the monastery, physical spaces are also dedicated to different tasks. For example, the choir is dedicated to liturgy and personal prayer and a common room is dedicated to work and recreation. Computers are not taken to the cells because the cell is a place of prayer, study and rest. The same concept can help in a home or apartment, though on a much smaller scale: a chair, a lamp a Bible, crucifix and a saint’s image makes a dedicated prayer corner. A table under a window with office supplies in drawers on on a bookcase serves as an office or study desk, and so on. By keeping clear boundaries around time and space and guarding them as much as possible, we are helped in maintaining life balance and in transitioning from one activity of the day to another.
Third Challenge: “Why am I so…?!” Our daily lives in the world are full of external stimuli and noise, things that can distract us from ourselves. When young women first enter the monastery, they are often surprised what they learn or rediscover about themselves (and we don’t always like what we learn!). This can be an additional stress unless we take the time to A.I.R.: 1) Acknowledge what we are experiencing, 2) Investigate the who, what, where, when, why and how, and 3) Respond accordingly.
Opportunity: We are fearfully and wonderfully made - we must know God, know ourselves, and balance the “four corners” of human life. There are four facets of human life that need some attention every day to keep us not just surviving but thriving: physical life, emotional life, intellectual life, and spiritual life. For ease, we separate them as categories, but in reality they are all interconnected - a problem in one area often manifests itself in another. So, it is also important to be aware of how they connect and to keep them in balance.
Our physical life includes our biological and environmental needs: sleep/rest, nutrition/hydration, physical activity, relaxation, and our stewardship of material goods and natural resources. In a more secluded environment without as much external stimuli, we will start to notice whether we’ve chronically neglected our bodies or our environment. It may take us a while to feel caught up on sleep or the cleaning and organization projects we’ve been ignoring will start to eat at us. While we don’t want to pamper our bodies or obsess over everything around us being perfect, now more than ever, each of us should make an effort to ensure we are addressing our physical needs to the best of our ability. Go to be early. Prepare simple, nutritious meals with family or roommates. Dedicate 30 minutes or an hour each day to tackle those scrapbooks or clean out the closet. Go for walks if you can get out, or put on some music and just dance!
Our emotional life is where our biology meets our soul. Our emotions are physical responses to things we perceive. We might assume our emotional responses would be more calm now because we don’t have to interact with those people and situations that we perceive as pushing our buttons. But actually, the exact opposite often happens - we become more emotional. Why? Because the “problem” is not outside of us. Our emotions go with us, our triggers are our own and we cannot run away from them. In a closed environment, things that were “little annoyances” become big problems because we have fewer outlets and distractions. To take care of ourselves emotionally, we need to spend some time each day nurturing our hearts. Read an inspirational story or watch a saint movie via FORMed. Connect with family and friends. Take a walk or simply sit outside and watch nature. Relax with music. Take up art or a hobby. When you feel your emotions rising, step back and A.I.R. - Acknowledge the emotion, Investigate why, and Respond accordingly.
Our intellectual life is not about “being smart” - it’s much more than that We are rational beings and forming our intellect helps us grow in faith, make right decisions, and broaden our worldview (this is especially important right now). Without continuous effort to learn and “think outside our box”, our world becomes very narrow and we can become very small-minded, focusing only on ourselves. Make it a goal to learn something new every day, and in particular, to learn something about the faith. There are so many resources available now for people who want to feed their minds and souls. We have some of our favorites on our website here.
The last corner is our spiritual life. This is both the beginning and the end. The beginning, because we can do nothing apart from God and need to spend time with Him and grow in our spiritual life. It is the end because we can’t grow well until we have begun to exercise discipline in the other three areas of our life. God is inviting all of us into a deeper relationship with Him, but it is up to us to respond. Now is the time to cultivate prayer and Scripture reading with your family and friends, as well as alone. Start small, take one step at a time.
Final tips:
When you’re feeling like things are closing in, or you’re tempted to complain, do a kindness for someone else. It doesn’t have to be a big act, but by doing something kind for someone else (without any strings or expectations), it helps us get outside ourselves and the rut of negativity we can fall into.
Be firm but gentle with yourself. Some of us are very weak in taking care of ourselves in one or more of these areas, so pick one and start small, but stick with it. It takes time and repetition to build up our soul’s “virtue muscle.”
Every day, work AND play, spend time together AND make room for silence. Work promotes the dignity of our person, so every person in the household should be given an opportunity to take their share of responsibility. Yet, we were made for leisure, for resting in God, so make sure work comes to an end. We also were made for communion, so make time for common activities - meals, games, or chores such as baking or cooking can be great for sharing. At the same time, each of us has some need for silence, and some of us have a greater need for solitude and silence than others. If we are not used to silence, in the beginning it can be very uncomfortable to shut off all devices and media and spend time alone; in silence we have to face ourselves, our loneliness, our woundedness and we most intimately encounter God. It’s much easier to check social media, text messages, or flip on the television. Nonetheless, if we invest in spending time each day in prayerful silence, we will reap great graces and we do an act of charity to those in our households who truly need that solitude and silence for their emotional, intellectual and spiritual health.
Blessed Mother, pray for us!